Things I should Put On My Ipod When I Get A Chance

1. Kylesa
2. The Melvins
3. Rwake
4. Baroness Demo
5. The rest of Yob's Discography
6. More Slayer
7. System Of A Down's Self- Titled record
8. A Perfect Circles Discography
9. Rollins Band Discography 
10. Dozer's discography 
11. Rival Sons's discography
12. GRAVEYARD
13. INDIAN
14. The Ruts Discography 
15. The Damned Discography
16. Bad Brains discography 
17. Fugazi Discography 
18. TOOL discography

 Anything else you think I should give a listen, COMMENT ON IT!!!

left in ruins

Walking through the rain

I feel the drops come down my face

thoughts of you come running

and regret wins the race

I feel remorse for leaving you

the life I left behind

The image of your smile, your gorgeous smile

still haunts my mind

I love you oh you darling girl

but the thought of you i repress

Im afraid I must forget

so my heart can be at rest

Pieces of my memory

call me to come home

But im older now and things must change

It was written in the stone

Things must change

the autumn to the snow

i hate that i must leave you

but i feel that i must go

Song of the day: BURNING THE ALTAR- YOB

i think this song pretty much sums up how my mind is. Mike Scheidt (guitar) is a fuckin god.Such an epic song.

Being in The Dreaded Friend Zone

TO BE PERFECTLY CLEAR...I WOULDNT LEAVE HER...if  "friend zone" asked me...im just saying that i really like her and i wouldnt wait IF she asked. so basically i really want my ex back..BUT it would be awsome if  FRIEND ZONE asked me or i got to ask her...nuff splainin, i feel im diggin myself into a hole i wont be able ta get out of.

how close are we really.....

its been awhile since i last posted BUT im only here to give you guys a HEADS UP on wut the next vid is about soooo keep a look out

New Beginnings

so yesterday i FINALLY got my licsense, so you know wut that means...TIME FOR MY DAD TO PANIC LIKE A LITTLE FUCKTARD. I got my licsense and i was ready for life to start until my dad had to ruin it by saying "I dont think your good enough, you have ta get out there with us some more"....wut kinda horse shit remark is that? im fuckin pumped that i finally have sum sort of independence and he comes in and puffs my happiness away like sum big bad fuckin wolf to a straw house. FUCK!!! but hey at least my moms on my side and she wants me ta get out THANK FUCKIN FATE for that. shes gonna use her "persuasion" to help me out. WOOOO my lifes in the hands of fuckin fate now!!

Newness BIZNITCHESSS!!!

Sadness: A Burden

i never felt the need to be sad for anything im goin through. i felt sadness or sorow really held no purpose in my life. if anything i got pissed, cuz wen i got pissed, i made shit happen and changed the things that made me angry. Instead of looking at things as a reason to cry over, i learned quickly that those things wer miniscule and cud easily be changed for the better. and wen i gave up on wondering wut tomorrow held for me, those tears and frowns qucikly subsided and i felt a FUCK TON better. so, AS I SEE IT, sadness is worthless and it shouldnt be apart of anyones emotions at all. FUCK YOU SADNESS. GET PISSED. MAKE CHANGES. STOP BITCHING....

For The Sake Of Just Being Awsome

why must people feel compelled to be nice to people they have no idea who they are. Being a cool person should come naturally, not because of your religion or what a book says, but because being a nice person is the coolest thing you could do for yourself. Being a nice person to somebody and making them feel better is just a better choice for you and the people you talk to. To many people nowadays are being snoody, self centered, and all around assholes to people for no reason. Their egos get in the way of meeting new people, and instantly makes them hypocrites of their own religion. Love thy Neighbor my ass. From this post i hope you learn that BEING A NICE PERSON CAN OPEN DOORS TO NEW PEOPLE AND OPPORTUNITIES. Be Awsome For The Sake Of Being Awsome.

thoughts of woe

• walking through a church is like walking through an insane asylum...except everyone is having the same delusion
• I dont need something that wasn't and still isn't there

saw this the other day and agreed totally

my religion is simple. my religion is kindness. -Dalai Lama

HOPE: the driving force

alone time, for the most part is a time where i can actually try to make since of wut the fuck im doin with my life. i usually get pissed off at myself trying to figure out why im not getting my life where it needs to be. and some times its as if ive had SOME SPARK of hope from in the midst of sheer doubt and self hatred. those times are pretty cool. those thoughts of hope are often acted on and my main reason for doing the stupid yet fun things i do. in the moments i have to think my brain turns on me, and starts to give me thoughts of paranoia and self pity. but wen i seem to give in to those thoughts HOPE comes back in and fuckin saves my ass. hope is something i thrive on, its the thing that drives me, i dont have hope in man nor in god THOSE THINGS HOLD NO MEANING TO ME. i have hope in me, and nothing else. all in all, hope is one of the best things i have goin for myself, if i lost hope, i lost my will.

ITS MY FUCKIN LIFE

IM FUCKIN TIRED OF MY LIFE BEING IN THE HANDS OF MY PARENTS. its my fucking life, if  i dont want something then i dont want it. all the fuckin time they always force their beliefs and ideas on me as if i asked for em...WHO THE FUCK DOESNT WANT TO EAT PORK, ITS FUCKIN DELICIOUS DAD. I DONT WANA GO TO FUCKIN CHURCH YOU CRAZY JESUS FREAK. if its how i wana live my life, then so be it LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. all i fuckin want is to live and do as i please with who i please. ALL I ASK IS THAT YOU LEAVE YOUR BELIEFS TO YOUR SELF. I DONT WANT EM!!!!

Random thoughts from friends

Life in its entirety, is a matter of perception. esspecially when it comes to religion and philosophy.

i vowed to keep her happy

i saw the person of intrest crying one day, and when i asked her why she was crying, she gave me a blank stare as if i was trying to be intrusive or something. and wen she gave me that look, i instantaniously felt helpless. since that day, every time im around her i feel as if my only purpose is to make her happy. but since ive left the place i see her the most, theres no possible way for me to do so. but if i go back, id have to deal with the fact that i cant hold my word, and id have to spend the rest of my life in that place, even tho i hate it with every fiber of my being. so im stuck between my pride and my vow and theres no way( as i see it) to keep both...COULD SOMEONE PLEASE COMMENT ON SUM ADVICE!!!

me in a nutshell

so people always wonder wuts goin on in my mind. welp its a number of things...50% is unpredictably dedicated to two specific people. one being the "person of interest" i mentioned a couple posts ago. 25% is dedicated to music and art and the other 25% is reserved for the random thoughts. Me as a person can really be explained by these simple words, sincere, deep, eclectic, and genuine. i actually love making people smile, its sumthing i live for, but i cant make everyone smile. Someone will end up pissed, or even sad. But anyway, music and art are HUUUUGGGEE influences over my entire life. Its a way for me to really escape and vent the way i really feel. Random thoughts much like any thought, is random.....nuff said....more on me to come later in dayzzzz!

the devils music my ass!!!

so i was listening to Amon Amarth the other day and my brother comes to me and asked me why i listened to metal? Apparently, to him metal is the devils music and only white people listen to it. first off, metal has many different types of lyrical content and most of it isnt even satanic, it might be blasphemous but metal for the most part is fairly related to the inner emotions of the writer of the song.
As far as the race part goes, im basiclly living proof that this isnt true. AND IM NOT THE ONLY ONE!!!! EAT A DICK ANTUAN D. GARRETT

i got cha opin

its been a really gud week so far, only slight fuck ups, but nothin i couldnt bounce back from. jus sum things i realize about certain people of intrest. that person is (at this point) reeeaallly distance from me emotionally, and mentaly. we see each other once a week and even on those days its always sumwhat risky bizness. weve known each other since we wer younglings and now we're grown and kno wut we want in life for ourselves. weve drifted mentaly but weve always seemed to stay on the same page when it comes to joking around and generally talking to each other. i wish things ended better for us. in a sense i saw this cumming, but i tried to pass it off and try to make the best of a progressively bad situation. i do kno this for sure, im gonna make a HUGE move about this situation and sumone (not telling who) wont like it. #cliffhangers

ITS ONLY GETTING WORSE...... FUCK!!!!

living is a plague im soo ready to be over

everyday its something. its like one moment anything thats bad can and will happen, wether its soon or waiting for me. these things are inevitable and hard to escape. this shit happens to frequent enough for me to not be able to get out unscaved or even harmed at all. i cant wait to be on my own, completly devoid ov other life unless i say otherwise. to live on my own would be a gift greater than suicide...at least i can still have fun by myself while im still alive. id love to leave wen i want/need AND NEVER EVER depend on anyone to let me in wen im comming in late FUCK i hate home life...ITS HIGHLY OVERATED....HIGHLY.cant wait for my life to officially start....STILL MAKIN MOVES....KEEP UP

Are you worth it...

so i was talkin to a friend of mine the other day and we had a deep conversation..much like any other one, this one was about love and how do we kno that we feel it. i said it depended on time, the chemistry, and sum other stuff (cant remember), but i failed to mention that it depends heavily on wether you are worth the love they wana give you. wut du you du that makes you lovable, wut makes me want to love you and stuff like that. these questions can be answered by the time spent together that you actually can hold a conversation, or wen you can actually show who you really are and not feel any remorse about any of it. if you can do this and feel any serious positive emotions, then my friend...YOU ARE IN LOVE. be careful to not go over board with it, as much as it is a robust feeling..it is fragile and can be fake if used to get only wut people want. its not sumthing i personally wud du or condone doing, im jus sayin be careful, people now are really cold wen it comes to emotions of others. when i love you, its sumthin real and you cant get rid of me (not clingy by any means) love is serious to me. love from me wud be the most genuine emotion youd ever really see me give fully. i give it for anyone who deserves it and when i do its legit and the best i can give. so if your reading this....ask yourself, is wut i do with him/her worth my love and wut makes it worthy.

catch up...

so ive been outta skool for about almost goin on a week and a half now...and i must say THIS STAYIN AT HOME SHIT IS NOT FOR ME..AT ALL!!! i think that since ive been home ive beaten all my games THREE TIMES OVER walked the streets GOIN ON 5 MILES total a day..and watched jus about every movie PORN AND OTHERWISE..in short i have become bored with home life...BUT itll be over soon after this friday. if you dont kno im gonna try and get my licsense on the day my momz off so i can FINALLY get this shit over with..SUCK ON THAT SOMALIA.....so if you wana talk about anything ANYTHING AT ALL contact me by email and ill give you my exclusive contacts SEE YAS ON THEM SKREETS

blah blah blah

this isnt sumthing that i like dealing with...its the self imposed exile that comes after sumthing BIG happens...like a break up, a fight, or a burned bridge between friends. this exile makes me feel as if..im the only one in this world who can stand me...the only person who wants to be around me..as you can see...I DONT LIKE THIS FEELING..the feeling of being alone, abandoned, and all around shitty. today i feel like this, its pretty common for me tho..not to say that im used to it, but it happens alot. so the best thing i can do for myself is write it down and let it out as if the pad is my closest friend, girlfriend, my sibling, or my parents. its the only thing that understands my struggle, that and music. music in itself lifts my overall mood. whether its hip hop, or metal its a real OUTLET for my feelings and for me to let loose wut ales my mind. all in all, i gotta get outta this place im at the most, because being here is not helping anything at all. i gotta pick myself up by my boot straps and get my life tagetha...MAKIN MOVES

random wisdom

write as your the only one who can understand..then youll become universal

My top 10 favorite bands #1 being the my most favorite

10.Slayer

9. Slipknot

8. Deftfones

7. The Ocean

6.Neurosis

5. BARONESS

4.Yob

3. Red Fang

2. Lamb of God

1. MASTODON

back in my self-loathing state of mind

its like one false move im back in the spot that i hate being in. i feel as if people dont really like me (dont care) and i feel like life is passing me by and im not doing shit to get it back. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME. i gotta get it together. this shit is fuckin depressing seeing my friends fuckin havin the best time of their fuckin lives and im stuck doin wuteva the fuck im doin(bullshittin) FUCK MY MEANINGLESS LIFE!!!

am i even here...should i be

lately ive been thinkin that life has jus put on fuckin mute....like ill be there but no one wud even pay attention or even acknowledge im standing not two feet away. rite now im feelin llike i shouldnt be around if im not gonna be at least acknowledged or even heard. FUCK!!!

religion and my beliefs

so the other day my mom prayed for me and she wanted me to say AMEN as if i wanted her to do it. so i sat there waiting for her to start the car. She got PISSED, mainly because i havent told her that im an AGNOSTIC with an ANTI-RELIGIOUS tinge or.....wutever. but she jus started fuckin gettin all high and mighty talkin bout how much ima need God, i wudnt kno wut the hell she was sayin cuz i had my ipod on loud playing DARK FUNERAL...as of now i cudnt really give a shit wuts in the sky or where yall say he is. its jus one more thing on my FUCK IT list. religion was major for me wen i was a kid (i didnt kno anything else and i went to a christian private skool). since i was about 13 ive thought outside of the bible as in for myself and im glad i started to cuz lookin at christianity like i du...YOU PPL ARE FUCKIN CRAZY.

my first openly gay GUY friend

so i met this dude at skool taday and i met him through anutha friend...i can see from his actions and the way he talkd that he was gay but i never really thought anything ov it soo we talkd for a min and sum how i found out AND BOY DID I FIND THE FUCK OUT!!! dat nigga gay.. its not a prob wit me cuz i got a cuple gay family members but DAMN dis nigga ridiculous..

slacker and prcrastinator

you know the worst feeling than realizing that your a slacker...is realizing that your a slacker SCHOOL IS NOT FOR ME
i mean i like to learn new shit but the process of writing papers and answering question after question is fuckin killing me

Random #1

the more i think about words (in general) the more i get confused about them....fuck i love thinkin

OAN: its wenever im alone (pretty often) that i actually get a chance to sit and make a complete RATIONAL/IRRATIONAL thought...the kinda thoughts you have wen your stoned beyond compare BUT im not and i still have those kinda thoughts FUCK i love my brain

shit tha tkills my buzz and shit i get passionate about....shits one in the same anywayz....short list

1.BLIND Religious people

people who think their religion is the correct one and disregards anyones opinions are a fuckin joke to me, the only reason you think the way you do is because your scared of reading or even acknowledging anyone elses religion, in my world your days are fuckin numbered i cant stand two minutes with a religiously blind and dumb person.

2. Reading

i get really passionate about people who choose not to read because its "boring" or "pointless".

those people are becoming a majority here (the general south) i can count on one hand how many people i see in the library in between the isles searching for books. id rather waste my time in a book than with sum retard(who doesnt read) talkin politics.

3. Ghetto People

to put it plain and simple ghetto ppl make me laugh...first of all #2 relates TOTALLY to them and theyre funny as shit to look at. the way they waddle from point A to point B is a fuckin mystery. and the sad part is...they have NO INTELLECTUAL CURIOSITY AT ALL

4. The News Media

ok so wen it cums to the news i feel as tho wer not gettin told wut we want to kno...ya kno THE FACTS esspecially when it cums to FOX fuckin NEWS those assholes are SOOOO FULL OF SHIT its ridiculous

5. DEATHCORE

wen i was younger i used to love this kinda of metal it was different, new, and ALL THE SAME. i mean fuck people if your gonna be a different genre all your own AT LEAST be different from the next deathcore band ie. (I DECLARE WAR, WHITECHAPEL, OCEANO) not sayin that these bands sound like shit BUT theyre the same as each other SO basically IF YOUR GONNA PLAY METAL BE ORIGINAL B E ORIGINAL...

dreams of sin

so lately ive been havin dreams about the seven deadly sins...

first it was lust

the second one (last nite) was anger

its not like i planned a dream like inception or sum shit it jus happend so now i wonder wuts in store for me tanite

first ever post....HISTORICAL

ok so its my first post and for a while i was wonderin...WHAT THE FUCK AM I GONNA WRITE ABOUT...well after many days and nites of thinkin...ive finally thought of it..ITS GONNA BE A BLOG ABOUT SHIT....no not shit LITERALLY..fuckin gross BUT RANDOM SHIT i like and quotes i like and if you want...give me sum idears until then LATER DAYS