HOPE: the driving force

alone time, for the most part is a time where i can actually try to make since of wut the fuck im doin with my life. i usually get pissed off at myself trying to figure out why im not getting my life where it needs to be. and some times its as if ive had SOME SPARK of hope from in the midst of sheer doubt and self hatred. those times are pretty cool. those thoughts of hope are often acted on and my main reason for doing the stupid yet fun things i do. in the moments i have to think my brain turns on me, and starts to give me thoughts of paranoia and self pity. but wen i seem to give in to those thoughts HOPE comes back in and fuckin saves my ass. hope is something i thrive on, its the thing that drives me, i dont have hope in man nor in god THOSE THINGS HOLD NO MEANING TO ME. i have hope in me, and nothing else. all in all, hope is one of the best things i have goin for myself, if i lost hope, i lost my will.